Does your child's grief need psychological treatment?

Many people think that children have a great ability to forget, and therefore they can overcome their grief faster and easier than adults.

But in fact, the grief of children is entrenched in the memory, and psychologically and behaviorally affect them for long periods that may extend for years, especially if that grief is due to the loss of a close person to the child, such as a sibling, parent, grandparent, friend or pet. But when do parents decide to turn to specialists to find the right ways to manage this ordeal?

Why might advice be needed?

Grief counseling can help find healthy ways to deal with children in their distress, and understand their feelings and how to express them. Most children recover from grief without any long-term emotional problems, but some have significant emotional problems that persist over time.

Children who experience long-term problems after losing a loved one report high levels of stress. They may struggle to focus in school, or they may develop increasing behavioral problems. Children who struggle to manage their grief may be more likely to develop mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or an adjustment disorder.

According to the article of psychotherapist Amy Morin - on the "very well family" website - sometimes, a continuous psychological crisis arises in a child when the loss is caused by especially difficult circumstances .

For example, a child who survives an accident in which a loved one dies may feel more guilt, fear, and confusion.

Children may also experience excessive guilt about the death of a loved one; The child may believe that his anger at someone may somehow lead to the death of that person, or the child may believe that his behavior has somehow caused something bad to happen. Grief counseling can help a child develop healthy beliefs.

And Maureen continued, family members may not be able to provide appropriate psychological support for the child, especially if all family members suffer from the same cause of grief, such as the loss of the father; A mother grieving the loss of her husband cannot be emotionally present for her child, or a father grieving the loss of a parent may have difficulty talking to children about the loss, while also experiencing the same feelings of grief.

What happens during grief counseling sessions?

What happens during grief counseling depends on your child's age and needs, but here are some things that may happen during counseling:

The therapist asks the child to draw or color pictures of a deceased loved one and to identify what he will miss most about that individual.

Set up some events with the family, to help the child honor the memory of a loved one after his death, such as the memory of that person's birthday.

Talking about all the feelings that stem from sadness, and developing dealing with sadness through ways, such as drawing, talking to a friend, or looking at old photos with him and bringing up his memories. The goal is not to forget the deceased person, but rather how to deal with daily life despite his absence.

Use play therapy to help children process their loss in a healthy way. And create a scrapbook of their favorite memories with loved ones, whether it is in the form of a small book, photo album or video clip, as this is determined, depending on the child's age, interests, psychological state and interaction.

Talking about death

Most healthy people have some degree of anxiety about death. US epidemiological surveys indicate that as many as 10% to 15% of Americans have what is sometimes called death anxiety, especially if they are already dealing with the loss of a loved one, anxiety or illness of a parent.

For this reason, it is very important that your conversations with your children about death include frank and honest language rather than sweet phrases or vague terms. While it is difficult to discuss the finality of death, it is important to be honest about the reality of death itself.

Kind words may seem easier and more appropriate for children, but in reality they can be counterproductive. For example, what some people say to children about the dead being "asleep" is confusing, and implies that the person will eventually wake up. Moreover, this may cause some children to be afraid of sleeping as well. Words such as "grandmother is no longer with us" or "we lost my grandfather" are unhelpful and unclear.

For a child, these phrases can be misinterpreted to mean that death is temporary, or that the person is somehow missing rather than dead.

If your child needs more explanation about the meaning of death, you can provide a general explanation, such as "His body is no longer working."

It also helps remind children that not everyone who gets sick will die, and that many people actually get sick and recover. Reminding them of this fact can relieve some of their fears.

When should you seek professional help?

If you see any of the following warning signs after a loss, it's important to take urgent action to help your child see a therapist, especially if these symptoms persist for more than two weeks:

-Frequent bad dreams about death or nightmares.

-Lack of interest in previous activities.

-Chronic complaints of headache, stomach pain or other physical symptoms with no known medical cause.

-Increased behavior problems.

Mood changes

-Significant decline in school performance.

-Increased social isolation.

-Frequent, violent outbursts of anger for no apparent reason.

-Intense fear of death or losing a loved one.

Put your fears aside

Most psychiatrists stress the importance of talking to children about death from an early age in an honest and informative way, and suggest that parents portray death as a normal part of the life cycle, even before death occurs. This is because many parents resist discussing death, until a family member or pet dies. Which causes severe emotional crises in the child.